![]() There Dylan, holding on to his black token, miraculously heals at a record pace. Periodically he’s checked up upon by the svelte head of neurology. Both Emily and his friend Jim (David Silva) visit him in the hospital. Coming home Dylan is hit by an unmarked Rolls-Royce, and rushed to the hospital where he’s placed under the care of Dr. He holds an MA in computer science and living with him is his painkiller addicted girlfriend Emily (Klara Landrat). Several decades pass and Dylan (Neil Breen) is now an author in talks with his publisher about commencing preparations for his eagerly awaited second novel. “ It’s a magical day!”, they exclaim and as fate would have it the two are separated as Leah moves to another state. The box is buried and changes back into a mushroom. Dylan takes the token and Leah rearranges the beads into a bracelet. The mushroom turns into a jewelry box containing a black token and a few beads. One day eight-year-olds Dylan (Jack Batoni) and Leah (Brianna Borden) discover a mushroom next to the base of a tree in an open field. As always, nothing is ever that simple and as with everything there’s always more than meets the eye. Breen is a man with a plan, which should strike fear into the hearts of anyone. Hewitt Las Vegas’ most famous former realtor and architect turned Christian geek green-Marxist is dangerously enthusiast and wholly unencumbered by his lack of talent in every department. Now (2009) before it this one too is imbued with New Age mysticism which might, or might not, be Native American in nature. As such, Fateful Findings is the third of his religious-patriotic-jingoistic supernatural thrillers and his most ambitious (or unhinged) by a wide margin. Like all true gems enshrined in the pantheon of bad moviedom the power lies not so much in the number of productions that Neil Breen has amassed, but that each and every feature of his defies conventional criticism by their inherent weirdness. His modest body of work might not seem very daunting but the sheer concentration of awful within such a small repertoire has led to a veritable cult worship of his work. Fateful Findings is a transcendental, transformative work loaded to the gill with just about every dell of insanity and one that Breen has had trouble living up to ever since. White, Geovanni Molina, Kirk Cameron, and Neil Breen. Christian fringe cinema has appointed its own Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: David A.R. In other words, this is anything and everything you’d want out of a Breen production. If Double Down (2005) offered a mere glimpse into the fractured psyche of a man with a tenuous grip on sanity then Fateful Findings is where old Neil went gloriously off the deep end. Not since Black Magic Rites (1973) and Ogroff (1983) was something so divorced from reality, so fantastically misguided, so life-affirmingly riveting in its complete and utter direness. Now (2009) – and probably not in the way he intended or imagined. Breen flabbergasted the world with Double Down (2005) and I Am Here…. Staggeringly incompetent on just about every level, impenetrable for the uninitiated, jarringly disjointed for the bad cinema aficionado, and incomprehensible for everybody else Fateful Findings is Neil Breen’s undiluted masterpiece. Plot : novelist vows to end government and corporate corruption. ![]()
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